Being Human Is Harder Than It Looks

People often find their passion in life by giving to the world what they didn’t get themselves when they needed it most. I became an educator – to offer guidance, support, compassion, and understanding to adolescents who were often struggling to make sense of this crazy-ass life. That’s what I needed when I was younger.Continue reading “Being Human Is Harder Than It Looks”

Love or Control – Pick One

You can’t love someone and control them. You have to decide between the two. Most folks aren’t controlling in the early, magical stages of a relationship. If they are, run! People generally keep a lid on their neurotic bullshit at least long enough to establish sexual ties and some emotional investment. Then they turn upContinue reading “Love or Control – Pick One”

First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage

(then comes growing the f**k up) Filling out official documents, I used to wonder why marital status options were “single, married, widowed, or divorced.” Where was the committed relationship box? As a serial monogamist, I always felt dishonest putting a check next to “single.” But after being married a few years now, I completely understand.Continue reading “First Comes Love, Then Comes Marriage”

Stages of Emotional Healing

Childhood is a dangerous hood. It’s where most of the world’s pain and suffering come from. There are many maladaptive ways to survive a shitty childhood (becoming invisible, perfectionism, attention-seeking, addictions). Some of these coping mechanisms can be abandoned when we reach adulthood. But many of them stay lodged in our psyche as trauma-induced, defaultContinue reading “Stages of Emotional Healing”

Are You Fighting For Your Relationship or Just Fighting?

The difference between healthy and unhealthy conflict If your partner turns everything into a fight, it’s a definite sign of emotional immaturity. Ask any math teacher if they’ve ever announced a test and had a student immediately get into a fight or throw a complete shit-fit and have to be removed from class. It’s aContinue reading “Are You Fighting For Your Relationship or Just Fighting?”

A Relationship Is Like A Garden

You don’t just get a garden. You work in a garden. A new relationship often feels like the garden of Eden. A bountiful cornucopia, overflowing with rapturous delights. “I have found the promised land!” you may say most emphatically. But after you ravage all the low-hanging fruit, it starts becoming a little more inconvenient. ItContinue reading “A Relationship Is Like A Garden”