Author Archives: Adam

You’ll never feel more love than what you think you’re worthy of. Think of self-love as receptors in your brain for love (a concept that I just came up with as a metaphor). Without these receptors, you could be flooded with love from all directions, and you wouldn’t feel a damn thing. Or how aboutContinue reading “When You Can’t Feel Love”

Everybody wants love. And even though such a claim sounds like another one of these silly ass “Love is all you need” or “Love heals all wounds” kinda things, it’s actually empirically true. Babies who don’t receive nurturing touch or attach to their mothers often die of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome), suffer from “failureContinue reading “Asking for Love in Unlovable Ways”

If your happiness is contingent on other people “acting right,” there’s a strong chance you’ll be a salty barnacle forever and die in a lonely pool of self-righteous resentment. Helluva way to start an article, I know. But hear me out. The belief that you “would” be happy if only other people were different isContinue reading “What Does Your Happiness Depend On?”

Some people think depending on others is weak and being independent is what makes you strong. Others conclude that fierce independence is actually a cowardly fear of vulnerability and that being willing to rely on others is true strength. As always, the truth is somewhere in the middle. On one side of the spectrum, thereContinue reading “Healthy Interdependence”

Blame and shame are the outtie and innie of not taking responsibility for your life. Blame says there’s something wrong with you, and I can’t do anything about it. Shame says there’s something wrong with me, and I can’t do anything about it. Both positions assume that you’re utterly powerless, which isn’t true, nor isContinue reading “Blame and Shame”

When a house fire consumes all the available oxygen in an enclosed space, opening a door or window can create a sudden, fiery detonation as fresh air rushes in. This phenomenon is known by firefighters as backdraft. It’s why they check doors for heat before throwing them open and being engulfed in flames. Yet thereContinue reading “Emotional Backdraft”

In The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle writes, “Emotion arises at the place where mind and body meet. It is the body’s reaction to your mind — or you might say, a reflection of your mind in the body.” I remember the very moment I read this line over a decade ago. That book literally changed myContinue reading “The Power of The Mind”

What’s faster, easier, less work, more convenient, and way cheaper than healing? I’ll give you some hints. It’s available 24/7 in abundant supply, and you won’t have to go very far to get it. Most people have some and are more than happy to share it with you. In fact, once you get it installed,Continue reading “The Easy Alternative to Healing”

Most people have experience with healing a scraped knee or elbow. Maybe you clean the wound, put some antibiotic ointment on it, and cover it with a band aid. But then what? Then you leave it the fuck alone. There are quite a few ways for you to slow down the healing process – continuing toContinue reading “How Long Does Healing Take?”

Many people grew up with poor or missing boundaries in their family. Or they learned that they needed to disregard personal boundaries in order to get love and attention. Then, when they discover much later that their lack of boundaries is problematic, it often seems terribly difficult to rectify. I’d like to explain briefly whyContinue reading “Why Boundaries Are So Loving”