Free Stuff

Here are a bunch of podcasts, videos, quizzes, articles, apps, tools, charts, etc. that you may find helpful. They are a mixture of resources specific to relationship skills and to healing relational trauma. Enjoy!

Podcasts I’ve Been On:

Instagram Lives I’ve Done:

Anxious + Avoidant Dynamics with Rikki Cloos (July 2022)

Attachment Theory with Rikki Cloos (August 2021)

Boundaries for Anxious Attachers with Rikki Cloos (June 2021)

What It Means to Have a Broken Picker with Adele Currin (June 2021)

Some of My Instagram Faves:

Quizzes:

The Original Fix Your Picker Relationship Quiz. Detects patterns of anxious and avoidant attachment. Results come in a seven-day email sequence that describes the likely ramifications of your relational behavior – and what you can do about it!

The Experiences in Close Relationships Quiz. A more granular look at your attachment style. Results come as a data point on an x-y plane of Avoidance vs. Anxiety measured from 1 to 5. However, there is danger in wrongly considering yourself securely attached using this quiz. Avoid this pitfall by taking a peek at this illustration.

The Love Language Quiz. People give and receive love in different ways. If you and your partner speak different love languages, you might wanna figure that out.

The Adverse Childhood Experiences Quiz. Very simple yet powerful quiz to identify the ten most prevalent forms of childhood abuse, neglect, and household dysfunction. Your ACE score has a direct correlation to damn near every negative outcome in life (addiction, depression, disease, injury, incarceration, unemployment, rape, alcoholism, obesity, suicide, etc.). In other words, it’s good to know your ACE score.

The Childhood Emotional Neglect Questionnaire. Many people think their childhood was “fine” because they weren’t beat and their physical needs were met. But emotional neglect isn’t memorable like something bad that happened – it’s unmemorable like something that didn’t happen. Yet, it’s effects can be just as crippling as any other type of developmental trauma. Worth looking into – especially if you don’t think you need to.

Tools / Charts / Helpful Resources:

30 Red Flags – excerpt from Psychopath Free by Jackson McKenzie

Definitions of Cognitive Distortions – excerpt from Feeling Good by David Burns

Intentions for Recovery | The Human Bill of Rights | Inner Critic Attacks | Resolving Conflict | Emotional Flashbacks – excerpts from Complex PTSD by Pete Walker

The Work – Byron Katie’s framework for questioning your beliefs

25 Questions – Adult Children of Alcoholics & Dysfunctional Families

Patterns and Characteristics of Codependency – Codependents Anonymous

The Feelings Wheel – visual aid for identifying your feelings

87 Human Emotions & Experiences – from Brené Brown’s Atlas of the Heart

Feelings & Needs Inventory – The Center for Nonviolent Communication

Polyvagal Chart – physiology of nervous system activation

Urgent vs. Important – Adam Murauskas

RAIN: A Practice of Radical Compassion – Tara Brach

Relationship Attachment Model – John Van Epp

Model of Developmental Immaturity – Pia Mellody

The Weekly Check-In Prompt – The Gottman Institute

Quick Reads:

Ghosts – excerpt from Untamed by Glennon Doyle

Physiology of the Brain and Stress – energyconnectiontherapies.com

Adverse Childhood Experiences and Adult Health – Vincent J Felitti, MD

The Verdict Is In: The case for attachment theory – Alan Sroufe and Daniel Siegel

Apps:

I am – positive affirmations

Insight Timer – meditation, yoga, courses, music, mood tracker, etc.

Othership – guided breathwork

Libby and Hoopla – free audiobooks and e-books when linked to your library card

Videos:

The Power of Vulnerability | Brené Brown

The Secret to Desire in a Long-Term Relationship | Esther Perel

You Can Heal Intergenerational Trauma | Thema Bryant

Trauma, Healing, and The Brain | Gabor Maté

6 Ways to Heal Trauma Without Medication | Bessel van der Kolk

Adult Children Of Emotionally Immature Parents | Lindsay Gibson

How to Reparent Yourself | Nicole LePera

Infidelity Trauma | MJ Denis

Podcasts:

Jewel on The Ed Mylett Show

James Clear on Ten Percent Happier

Pia Mellody on Conversation with Alanis Morissette

Trauma Journaling Protocol on Huberman Lab

Healing from Addiction on Commune

Movies / Shows:

The Wisdom of Trauma – Movie featuring Gabor Maté

The Call to Courage – Brené Brown’s Netflix special

Atlas of the Heart – Brené Brown’s HBO series

Stutz – Jonah Hill’s Netflix documentary about his psychiatrist Phil Stutz

Meditation:

Loving and Listening to Yourself | Sarah Blondin

The Cave – Trauma Healing Poetry | Sez Kristiansen

Remembering Your Worth | Linda Youssouf

I Am Everything | Beautiful Chorus

Moola Mantra Blessings | Prashanti Paz

Handpan Meditation | Malte Marten

F*ck That Meditation | Jason Headley

Some of My Favorite Articles:

The Inherent Pitfalls of Dating

Waiting for Someone to Give You Something They Don’t Have

How To Know If Someone Can Change

The 4 Pillars of Healing and Growth

Codependency and Boundaries

Do You Even Know What Your Needs Are?

The Importance of Community on the Healing Journey

Stop Calling Your Trauma Response “Me”

The Most Diabolical Thing About Self-Abandonment

Is Your Whole Relationship a Trauma Response?

How Toxic Shame Sabotages Your Relationships and What to Do About It

Songs That Make Me Feel Things:

Thankyou Very Much | Leah Song of Rising Appalachia

Convenience Stores | The Information Man | Buddy Wakefield

Laughing With | Samson | Regina Spektor

Back to Where I Was | Eric Hutchinson

Paradise | Eyedea & Abilities

The Last to Say | Yesterday | Atmosphere

Rain Water | Brother Ali

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*The books I mention have Amazon affiliate links. However, I am not being paid to promote anybody’s bullshit. Everything on this page is both personally and professionally valuable to me and the people I work with. Please use what works for you, share freely, and leave the rest.