Making Space for Something New

In 2019, my wife and I quit our jobs (our careers, really) and decided to make space for something new. I’m not sure either one of us had any idea what that would be. But we sold and donated half our stuff, packed some things in storage, and loaded up our suitcases to move abroad.Continue reading “Making Space for Something New”

Relationships and Quantum Physics

Physicists have long since proven that light exhibits properties of both waves and particles. But not necessarily like a wavy river of particles. Literally, one ass photon (particle of light) propagates in a wavelike fashion. I know… doesn’t make any damn sense. Is it a wave or a particle? The simple answer is yes. AsContinue reading “Relationships and Quantum Physics”

Relationships In Recovery

Romantic relationships within the context of recovery from substance or process addictions is a hot topic. This may include codependency, sex addiction, eating disorders, self-harm, alcoholism, or any number of things. Whether you, your partner, or both are committed to some program of recovery (or apparently uncommitted), there is much to say on the matter.Continue reading “Relationships In Recovery”

The Three Stages of Emotional Liberation

In his book Nonviolent Communication, Marshall B. Rosenberg writes about the three stages people often pass through on their journey from emotional slavery to emotional liberation. As an NVC fanboy, Rosenberg groupie, and an unyielding proponent of his work, I’m gonna share this concept with you today (largely in my own words and with myContinue reading “The Three Stages of Emotional Liberation”

Your Three Options in Every Relationship

When this story publishes, my wife and I will be cozied up in an island bungalow off the Caribbean coast of Panama. She’s really good at planning travel, vacations, events, and pretty much anything. My skill set is more in line with absolutely winging shit and figuring it out as we go, haha. It’s likeContinue reading “Your Three Options in Every Relationship”

Is It Important or Just Urgent?

I listened to Stephen Covey’s iconic The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People on audio about a decade ago, and I remember damn near nothing about it. However, one of the concepts from that book that hit me pretty hard was the difference between important and urgent. And because it has come up with severalContinue reading “Is It Important or Just Urgent?”

Waiting for Someone to Give You Something They Don’t Have

Cheryl Strayed once wrote, “So long as you stay in a relationship that isn’t meeting your needs, you’re in a relationship that isn’t meeting your needs.” Not exactly rocket science, but it’ll knock your ass in the dirt if you’re not paying attention. And that’s just it. A certain level of ignorance, delusion, dissociation, orContinue reading “Waiting for Someone to Give You Something They Don’t Have”

Unhealthy Relationships Are a Symptom

No one wants to be in a relationship where being yourself and speaking your truth doesn’t feel safe. Sometimes authenticity and vulnerability don’t feel safe because our partners are judgmental, shaming, controlling, or abusive. Other times, authenticity doesn’t feel safe because our parents were that way when we were children.  And in many cases, unsurprisingly,Continue reading “Unhealthy Relationships Are a Symptom”

The Tragic Dilemma of Anxious Attachers

Anxious attachment is a pattern of human relating rooted in childhood abandonment. This abandonment — whether physical or emotional and no matter how subtle — interferes with the maturation process, causes numerous unhealthy dependencies, and invariably leads to self-abandonment. Today, I’d like to point out an often overlooked but particularly insidious relational dynamic common to anxious attachers. But first,Continue reading “The Tragic Dilemma of Anxious Attachers”

How To Know If Someone Can Change

Are you hoping for your partner to change? A friend, sibling, boss, or parent? Do they swear up and down that they are going to change, but you don’t really see the evidence? You see their potential and wanna give them the benefit of the doubt. You have reason to believe they can or willContinue reading “How To Know If Someone Can Change”