Authenticity Is A One-Person Job

Dude sittin on an amp playing a sitar – authenticity

The word authenticity comes from the Latin words auto, meaning self, and tenere, meaning to have or to hold. Thus, being authentic means to have a self.

In a world where so many people are trying to look, sound, or be like someone else, fully embracing yourself for everything you are and everything you are not seems pretty drastic.

It definitely stands out, I’ll tell you that.

We all have a deep human desire for acceptance and belonging. Belonging to a tribe is how we survived as a species for millennia. But people get it twisted when they abandon their authenticity for acceptance.

Brené Brown said it best: “Fitting in is about assessing a situation and becoming who you need to be to be accepted. Belonging, on the other hand, doesn’t require us to change who we are; it requires us to be who we are.”

People-pleasing, fitting in, keeping up with the Joneses, and trying to be liked are most often just well-intentioned self-abandonment masquerading as helpful.

Stop it.

When you let your freak flag fly and allow yourself to truly be, you will soon find that all rejection is self-rejection and all acceptance is self-acceptance. You have way more control over your life than you think you do.

When you step into your authenticity, you give people around you permission to stop pretending as well. And they will love you for this. Ironically enough, they may even try to be more like you. If they’re paying attention, they’ll know this means they need to be more like themselves.

In any event, authenticity is not measured by how much other people like you. It’s measured by how much you like you.

And that, my friends, is a one-person job.

Published by Adam

Mentor, coach, speaker and educator for over 12 years. I have survived, recovered from and triumphed over many obstacles and afflictions. It brings me tremendous joy to help others overcome similar circumstances so they can live their best lives.

4 thoughts on “Authenticity Is A One-Person Job

  1. I never felt like I fit in as a child, in high school nor at work. My boss said to me one day, I know something you don’t know that I know. “You don’t compete with anyone here. You only compete with yourself.” I felt a sense of relief and then recognized it was good to be me. Being older now, I embrace and celebrate my differences, encouraging others to embrace theirs.

    1. What a neat thing for a boss to say. I love that! And good on you for reaching that understanding and sharing it with the world. That’s such a gift 🙂

  2. Thank you for quoting Brené Brown. I love her! I hope you are feeling better tonight. Thinking about you…

    1. Thanks momma Beats! As it turns out, I can’t make healing go faster – something you might think I would understand 😂. But I am actually feeling better. Thank you ❤️.

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