When Attachment Matters More Than Authenticity

Harry Harlow’s famous surrogate mother experiment with Rhesus monkeys in the 1960s showed us just how important attachment is. When these infant monkeys were given two inanimate “mothers,” one made of wood and wire that had a milk bottle and another made of rubber and terry cloth (but without food), the babies chose the snugglyContinue reading “When Attachment Matters More Than Authenticity”

Self-Care vs Self-Love

Self-care is definitely a vital part of living a happy and healthy life, but it’s damn near useless without self-love. Uh oh… wait a second… what’s the difference? Well, self-care is comprised of things like healthy eating, exercise, meditation, rest, hygiene, boundary setting, etc. — essentially anything you do that’s good for your physical and emotional health.Continue reading “Self-Care vs Self-Love”

Why Criticism Destroys Relationships

I’ve often heard people say communication problems are the #1 reason relationships fail. Hell, I’ve probably said that a few times myself. But what does that even mean? That’s like saying the #1 cause of death is your heart stops beating. Ummm… ok. Thanks for the mind-blowing insight? Today, I’m gonna highlight one of theContinue reading “Why Criticism Destroys Relationships”

3 Types of Feelings

Feelings are absolutely essential. They drive the majority of our thoughts, desires, and actions. For the most part, I’d say feelings are what give meaning to our lives. They give us passion, friendship, love, purpose, enjoyment, and everything worthwhile. Indeed, feelings can be quite wonderful. But why do they have to be so damn confusingContinue reading “3 Types of Feelings”

Being Inauthentic Prevents Connection

It’s impossible to form healthy, satisfying, or sustainable connections with people by being fake. Seems pretty obvious, but people are still out here giving it the old college try, aren’t they? Perfectionism? Fake.Nice Guy Syndrome? Fake.Codependency? Fake.Social Chameleon? Fake. These (and so many more) are inauthentic and fundamentally dishonest ways of curating other people’s perceptionsContinue reading “Being Inauthentic Prevents Connection”

Asking for Love in Unlovable Ways

Everybody wants love. And even though such a claim sounds like another one of these silly ass “Love is all you need” or “Love heals all wounds” kinda things, it’s actually empirically true. Babies who don’t receive nurturing touch or attach to their mothers often die of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome), suffer from “failureContinue reading “Asking for Love in Unlovable Ways”

What Does Your Happiness Depend On?

If your happiness is contingent on other people “acting right,” there’s a strong chance you’ll be a salty barnacle forever and die in a lonely pool of self-righteous resentment. Helluva way to start an article, I know. But hear me out. The belief that you “would” be happy if only other people were different isContinue reading “What Does Your Happiness Depend On?”