Making Others Bad to Justify Your Shitty Behavior

It’s amazing how the whole world seems to change when I heal. I no longer see people as adversarial, threatening, or terrible — sent to earth with the sole mission of making my life suck. You see, when other people are the problem, I get to be a shithead. This is war! Screw those people! But whenContinue reading “Making Others Bad to Justify Your Shitty Behavior”

Meditation, Dissociation, and Embodiment

The instructor opened with, “State your name and briefly tell us why you came to this meditation class.” Adrift in an ocean of Lululemon and essential oils, I soon realized that one of these things was not like the others. All these yoga teacher lookin ass people had their gratitude journals open and were alreadyContinue reading “Meditation, Dissociation, and Embodiment”

Your Lizard Brain Don’t Read Books

I sure do love me some self-help books. Truly. But I have learned that knowledge is never enough. Understanding your problem is definitely important. Most folks don’t recover from a problem they can’t even identify. But healing requires action. Small. Consistent. Daily. Action. Let me explain… Healing often requires that you re-train the thinking partContinue reading “Your Lizard Brain Don’t Read Books”

C.R.A.Z.Y. (Compulsive Romantic Attraction & Zealous Yearning)

If you’re over the moon infatuated with another human being, it’s typically not because this person is your soul mate and you can’t let them get away. That kind of “chemistry” (oxytocin, adrenaline, dopamine, and vasopressin, to be specific) comes from inside you, not from someone else. Supernatural, electromagnetic attraction often has very little toContinue reading “C.R.A.Z.Y. (Compulsive Romantic Attraction & Zealous Yearning)”

Dear Exhausted Survivor,

There’s a pain living deep inside you, and there ain’t enough room in that town for the both of ya. So you leave. Often. Seldom do you return home where the hurt fills every room. You find temporary lodging in busyness, achievement, self-medication, and turmoil. Essentially a homeless homeowner – embarrassing to admit, even to yourself. CompulsiveContinue reading “Dear Exhausted Survivor,”

Stay in Your Lane or Stay in Your Pain

Life is sloppy. It’s not tidy or well-behaved. Nor is it the most predictable thing around. The whole mess is an iterative, trial-and-error investigation that hopefully moves you ever closer to self-discovery on your journey from utter unconsciousness — stumbling through various identities, beliefs, feelings, and realities — to a conscious existence that requires the least amount of psychicContinue reading “Stay in Your Lane or Stay in Your Pain”

Self-Acceptance Is The Way

“There is no way to self-acceptance. Self-acceptance is the way.” – Slight twist on a classic Gandhi quote. Self-acceptance is not what you get after becoming the best version of your best self. It’s not something you must earn, achieve, or prove yourself worthy of. People often jam acceptance from others into the hole whereContinue reading “Self-Acceptance Is The Way”

Fight / Flight / Freeze / Fawn

Most people have heard the phrase “fight or flight,” and probably an increasing number of people are hearing about the other stress responses of freeze and fawn. Regardless of how much you know about these 4F strategies, you’ve likely heard them come up in a context of triggers, bad habits, and lizard brain reactivity. ButContinue reading “Fight / Flight / Freeze / Fawn”