Category Archives: Uncategorized

Harry Harlow’s famous surrogate mother experiment with Rhesus monkeys in the 1960s showed us just how important attachment is. When these infant monkeys were given two inanimate “mothers,” one made of wood and wire that had a milk bottle and another made of rubber and terry cloth (but without food), the babies chose the snugglyContinue reading “When Attachment Matters More Than Authenticity”

Self-care is definitely a vital part of living a happy and healthy life, but it’s damn near useless without self-love. Uh oh… wait a second… what’s the difference? Well, self-care is comprised of things like healthy eating, exercise, meditation, rest, hygiene, boundary setting, etc. — essentially anything you do that’s good for your physical and emotional health.Continue reading “Self-Care vs Self-Love”

I’ve often heard people say communication problems are the #1 reason relationships fail. Hell, I’ve probably said that a few times myself. But what does that even mean? That’s like saying the #1 cause of death is your heart stops beating. Ummm… ok. Thanks for the mind-blowing insight? Today, I’m gonna highlight one of theContinue reading “Why Criticism Destroys Relationships”

Feelings are absolutely essential. They drive the majority of our thoughts, desires, and actions. For the most part, I’d say feelings are what give meaning to our lives. They give us passion, friendship, love, purpose, enjoyment, and everything worthwhile. Indeed, feelings can be quite wonderful. But why do they have to be so damn confusingContinue reading “3 Types of Feelings”

It’s impossible to form healthy, satisfying, or sustainable connections with people by being fake. Seems pretty obvious, but people are still out here giving it the old college try, aren’t they? Perfectionism? Fake.Nice Guy Syndrome? Fake.Codependency? Fake.Social Chameleon? Fake. These (and so many more) are inauthentic and fundamentally dishonest ways of curating other people’s perceptionsContinue reading “Being Inauthentic Prevents Connection”

You’ll never feel more love than what you think you’re worthy of. Think of self-love as receptors in your brain for love (a concept that I just came up with as a metaphor). Without these receptors, you could be flooded with love from all directions, and you wouldn’t feel a damn thing. Or how aboutContinue reading “When You Can’t Feel Love”

Everybody wants love. And even though such a claim sounds like another one of these silly ass “Love is all you need” or “Love heals all wounds” kinda things, it’s actually empirically true. Babies who don’t receive nurturing touch or attach to their mothers often die of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome), suffer from “failureContinue reading “Asking for Love in Unlovable Ways”

If your happiness is contingent on other people “acting right,” there’s a strong chance you’ll be a salty barnacle forever and die in a lonely pool of self-righteous resentment. Helluva way to start an article, I know. But hear me out. The belief that you “would” be happy if only other people were different isContinue reading “What Does Your Happiness Depend On?”

Some people think depending on others is weak and being independent is what makes you strong. Others conclude that fierce independence is actually a cowardly fear of vulnerability and that being willing to rely on others is true strength. As always, the truth is somewhere in the middle. On one side of the spectrum, thereContinue reading “Healthy Interdependence”

Blame and shame are the outtie and innie of not taking responsibility for your life. Blame says there’s something wrong with you, and I can’t do anything about it. Shame says there’s something wrong with me, and I can’t do anything about it. Both positions assume that you’re utterly powerless, which isn’t true, nor isContinue reading “Blame and Shame”