Authenticity > Strength

I launched FixYourPicker.com on March 27th and have woken up seven days a week at 4:30 or sooner to write, create, build, and connect. On Saturdays I wake up at 3:30 because I usually spend at least 8 hours writing, revising, and posting an article to various platforms.

About a month ago, I decided I would start letting myself “sleep in” until 5:00 on most days (I know, this sounds ridiculous). Yet Saturdays would remain the same, often working 8 to 12 hours straight.

The irony is that I write mostly about self-love and self-care as a means to improve your life and your relationships. Go figure.

I am very passionate about what I do. I love it. And it’s easy for me to do to excess. But I cannot be an effective relationship coach if I’m not doing the things I tell other people to do. I have to live it.

I have to be human. I have to be vulnerable. I have to be authentic.

I’ve always worked harder than a steam engine (see Shame, Hard Work, and Healing). And while strength and dedication have served me well, they don’t make me real. And they will never make me whole.

You have to be strong to be authentic, but you don’t have to be authentic to be strong.

I realize that I set the agenda for my life, that I’m probably the only one who expects me to do all the things I do, and I’m allowed to change my mind any time I want.

Are you holding yourself to any unreasonable standards? Are you focusing too much on being strong? Being good? Being helpful?

What can you do differently?

I’ve decided not to take any clients on weekends. If we can’t meet during the week, I’m not your guy. I’ve moved some clients to morning slots so I can spend more evenings with my wife. I plan on writing shorter blog posts on Saturdays, starting with this one, so I can do more relaxing.

Transforming your life, pursuing your dreams, and changing the world aren’t supposed to be easy. But they don’t have to kill you either.

If you’re not having fun, you’re doing it wrong.

Fix it.