Author Archives: Adam

In The Power of Now, Eckhart Tolle writes, “Emotion arises at the place where mind and body meet. It is the body’s reaction to your mind — or you might say, a reflection of your mind in the body.” I remember the very moment I read this line over a decade ago. That book literally changed myContinue reading “The Power of The Mind”

What’s faster, easier, less work, more convenient, and way cheaper than healing? I’ll give you some hints. It’s available 24/7 in abundant supply, and you won’t have to go very far to get it. Most people have some and are more than happy to share it with you. In fact, once you get it installed,Continue reading “The Easy Alternative to Healing”

Most people have experience with healing a scraped knee or elbow. Maybe you clean the wound, put some antibiotic ointment on it, and cover it with a band aid. But then what? Then you leave it the fuck alone. There are quite a few ways for you to slow down the healing process – continuing toContinue reading “How Long Does Healing Take?”

Many people grew up with poor or missing boundaries in their family. Or they learned that they needed to disregard personal boundaries in order to get love and attention. Then, when they discover much later that their lack of boundaries is problematic, it often seems terribly difficult to rectify. I’d like to explain briefly whyContinue reading “Why Boundaries Are So Loving”

People with an anxious attachment style have a conscious fear of abandonment and a subconscious fear of intimacy. People with an avoidant attachment style have a conscious fear of intimacy and a subconscious fear of abandonment. I know, crazy, right? Anxious folks felt abandoned as children, either physically or emotionally, so their fear of abandonmentContinue reading “Fear of Intimacy or Abandonment?”

Attachment Theory is relatively simple, yet it provides such profound insights into human behavior in relationships. I’m delighted to see people openly discussing their attachment style as these ideas filter into the mainstream. My biggest concern, however, is the shame, judgment, and negative connotations associated with insecure attachment styles. Perhaps you’ve heard that anxious attachmentContinue reading “Is Your Insecure Attachment Style a Problem?”

I got COVID for my birthday this year. Yeah, no shit. I drove about four hours from where we live in Panama to Uvita, Costa Rica (plus two hours of hellish border crossing that required more paperwork than adopting a child). Spent a few nights there at the beach by myself — I really enjoy my ownContinue reading “Let Go of the Story in Your Head”

I live in Panama, a Spanish-speaking country. Oftentimes when I ask folks here how they’re doing, they tell me they are well and add “Gracias a Dios,” meaning Thanks to God. There are “Dios Es Amor” decals across people’s windshields and all kinds of religious paraphernalia scattered hither and yon. I don’t find it preachyContinue reading “Solo En La Boca”

Self-criticism, self-loathing, negative self-talk — these are typically indicators of unmet childhood needs that you blamed yourself for. For example, perhaps you only got attention from your parents when you were well-behaved and “successful” (hell, this may still be true), so you learned to punish the shit out of yourself for not being good and perfect allContinue reading “Inner Critic: Spokesperson for Internalized Toxic Shame”

How much time, energy and resources do you spend trying to get other people to like you, love you, notice, appreciate, understand, admire, respect, or agree with you? How often do you trade authenticity for connection? Do you find yourself compulsively checking your phone for responses, likes, views, or comments? Your first reaction may beContinue reading “Self-Love: Easier Said Than Done”