How Long Does Healing Take?

Most people have experience with healing a scraped knee or elbow. Maybe you clean the wound, put some antibiotic ointment on it, and cover it with a band aid. But then what?

Then you leave it the fuck alone.

There are quite a few ways for you to slow down the healing process – continuing to use and injure the body part, picking at the scabs, exposing the wound to bacteria, etc. But most people understand there’s not much you can do to speed up the process.

In fact, if you stare at your knee scab all day, it’ll seemingly take forever to heal! So the best move is to dress the wound, check on it from time to time, but mostly forget about it. Trust that healing automatically happens when the conditions are right.

Similarly, your part in healing from trauma, shame, insecure attachment, or whatever, is to clean the wound, envelop it in a nurturing environment, then relax into trust, acceptance, surrender, and patience. And yeah, check on it from time to time.

I know, not very appealing to a traumatized nervous system that desperately wants to control the outcome, but that’s as good as it gets.

Mainlining self-help books intravenously and funneling therapy up your ass 24/7 can feel like you’re “doing something” about it. And that’s certainly true to some extent. But those things are helpful like the antibiotic ointment on your knee – a gallon isn’t necessarily better than a dab.

Yes, there is definite “work” to do on this healing journey. But not working is also a vital part of the process.

A blade of grass will grow one day’s length in one day’s time.

So will you.

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