In 2019, my wife and I quit our careers, sold a bunch of things, and moved to Panamá to recreate our lives. We’re both hard workers, which means we were pouring everything we had into supporting someone else’s dreams. We had to get off the work-work-work-die hamster wheel if we were ever going to set our souls ablaze and share our gifts with the world. But we couldn’t very well live in San Diego with no salaries while we built businesses from the ground up. So here we are!
The plane landed on July 1st, and it took a bit of time to get our visas and driver’s licenses, port our phone numbers, find a car and a place to live, learn a new language, and get plugged in to a new culture and community. But once we got settled in, I couldn’t help but notice my rapidly declining savings account balance. It was time to get to work.
So, as it turns out, it was really hard. But on March 27th, 2020, shortly after a global pandemic laid siege to the human race, FixYourPicker.com went live, and I published my first piece of content to social media — the first of over 600 original posts to date, many with full-length captions. The next day I would publish the first article in my blog and continue to do so every Saturday for the entire year. And somehow, this is my 55th article, which means I must have accidentally published a few extras somewhere along the way.
Nonetheless, today is the first anniversary of my launch, and I cannot be more excited about what has come to pass and what lies ahead.
Making Life Worth Living For A Living
Lucky for me, I’ve been to hell and back a few times, and I know the landscapes of addiction, trauma, depression, powerlessness, grief, and codependency like the back of my hand. I’ve been highly active in the recovery community for almost fourteen years now, and the things that almost killed me have since become my greatest assets for transforming the lives of others.
People often find that they are most enthusiastic about giving the world what they once desperately needed. One of my best friend’s childhood home burned down with him inside of it… twice. Now he’s a firefighter. Yeah, no shit. He and I aren’t so different — gaining indescribable joy and somehow rescuing a piece of ourselves every time we pull a bewildered soul from the flames of their own life.
My passion for healing and empowering others quickly landed a few clients, and I have since had the privilege of connecting with many people from Europe, Africa, Asia, Australia, and the Americas. Seeing a man in Mozambique, a kid in India, and a single mom in the US struggle with the same problem is a powerful reminder of our common humanity. This messy human experience ties us all together in a way that makes us way more alike than we could ever be different. It is truly a gift to be able to do the work that I now do as a full-time relationship coach.
I’ve been able to save some marriages from people and save some people from marriages. I’ve helped people escape abusive relationships, set boundaries, state their needs, feel their feelings, and learn how to love themselves, perhaps for the first time. Some have learned how to be single, some how to date, and some how to cultivate a secure and loving marriage.
Just the other day, I chatted with one of my very first clients (who was unsuccessfully chasing a completely unavailable person at the time) who is now happily engaged to a wonderful, emotionally available partner! It makes my heart so happy to watch people reclaim their lives, to see the light come on in their eyes, and to know that this world is a better place for my having been here.
I also recently strolled through Instagram to see what was up with my feed, and it turns out that about a hundred of the people I was following haven’t posted anything since April of last year. Yikes. I hope they’re ok. It isn’t lost on me just how fortunate I am to have not only survived but thrived during this pandemic. I know the difference between gratitude and sweeping a miracle under the rug by taking all the credit, and I’m gonna try to stay humble.
My next goal is to create a Fix Your Picker Masterclass that will walk people step-by-step through a powerful healing process, much like I do with individual coaching clients, but at a much lower cost. The words “Help People Heal” are printed boldly across a whiteboard in my office, so I never go a day without reflecting on my purpose. And while I’m really good at counting by ones, I know I’ll be of greater service to humanity by offering a course that anyone can download and take at their own pace. At present, there is a very limited number of clients that I can work with at one time. And I want to help more people.
I’m fairly certain that I’ll publish a book at some point. However, aside from writing every single day, I’m technically not working on said book just yet. I believe creating a class will have a greater, immediate impact, so I’m pulling my resources for that right now (work for Module 1: “What’s Driving Your Relationships? — Attachment Style 101” is already underway).
So stay tuned for things to come, my friends. I am so grateful for all of the love, support, and encouragement along the way — for those that hurt me and those that helped me heal — for all I was given and all that was taken away. I’ll be lucky if I can ever extend as much love and kindness as has been shown to me. But I’m certainly going to try.