Self-Care: Priority or Necessity?

Black and white portrait of a man ostensibly thing about something – the question of self-care

When you’re the only thing on your to-do list, being the lowest priority puts you in the top spot. This is why your self-care might be fantastic when you’re single, then fall apart like a leper on a treadmill the moment you start a new relationship.

Self-care is a necessity when you’re single… but that doesn’t make it a priority.

This was my experience before I got into recovery, and I hear it now from many of my clients.

I love myself, enjoy my own company, and have fun taking myself on dates. My self-care is off the charts. I’m passionate, healthy, driven – living my best life!

But all that goes to shit for some folks when they start dating again.

What the heck is that all about?

The truth about your relationship with yourself becomes very clear when you try to have a relationship with someone else.

You can deny it, hide it, lie to yourself and others about it. But it’s obvious, and burying your head in the sand is certainly not helping.

What are your relationships saying about how much you value yourself?

The longer you ignore this question, the louder it has to scream at you to get your attention.

And I’m pretty sure you don’t want that.


Published by Adam

Mentor, coach, speaker and educator for over 12 years. I have survived, recovered from and triumphed over many obstacles and afflictions. It brings me tremendous joy to help others overcome similar circumstances so they can live their best lives.

4 thoughts on “Self-Care: Priority or Necessity?

  1. Yes Adam, when do I become conscious of the click in my brain that dismissed my self-care because I was starting a relationship? Where, when did I create that belief?
    Thanks for the jolt Adam!

    1. It’s possible you were rewarded for abandoning your needs at some point (long ago). It happens to a lot of kids, actually. Love and belonging are irreducible human needs and children are quick to sacrifice their authenticity and self-care for a shot at feeling loved. Pretty amazing how that can stick with us for a lifetime isn’t it?

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