“You Make Me Feel”

Guy with a paper bag over his head with a frowny face on it, thinking, "You make me feel sad."

You make me feel stupid.

You make me feel insignificant.

You make me feel so alone.

Please stop saying, “You make me feel.”

No one can make you feel.

You are responsible for your own feelings.

If you think your feelings are everyone else’s fault, you are screwed.

No, really, I cannot emphasize how completely fucked you are if this is how you live your life.

Your feelings come from inside you, and they are a call to action. They are telling you that you have unmet needs or that you need to set a boundary or protect yourself in some way.

If you think feeling (an instinctual human mechanism for physical and emotional wellbeing) is someone else’s problem, then you may have a profoundly broken understanding of the nature of reality and how life works.

This will adversely impact literally every relationship you ever have in life.

I say this not to shame you or imply that you are inherently flawed (or “make you” feel bad). I am pointing out something that is most likely a trauma response that you need to heal.

Nothing changes until you take personal responsibility for it.

Furthermore, the moment you say, “You make me feel…” not only have you used your victim card to deny responsibility and lay down in the middle of the street, but you have also accused someone of something they definitely did not do. You have lied to yourself and started a war you cannot win.

Please. Stop saying those words.

You cannot change your life until you quit believing other people are in charge of it.

Published by Adam

Mentor, coach, speaker and educator for over 12 years. I have survived, recovered from and triumphed over many obstacles and afflictions. It brings me tremendous joy to help others overcome similar circumstances so they can live their best lives.

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