Author Archives: Adam

The difference between healthy and unhealthy conflict If your partner turns everything into a fight, it’s a definite sign of emotional immaturity. Ask any math teacher if they’ve ever announced a test and had a student immediately get into a fight or throw a complete shit-fit and have to be removed from class. It’s aContinue reading “Are You Fighting For Your Relationship or Just Fighting?”

When you love someone, you’re willing to do things for them. Someone who loves their child might work tirelessly to ensure that the baby is safe, seen, soothed, and secure. Loving oneself is similar — taking consistent, daily action to protect and nurture ourselves. The challenge is that there are many harmful ways to doContinue reading “Do You Love Yourself?”

You don’t just get a garden. You work in a garden. A new relationship often feels like the garden of Eden. A bountiful cornucopia, overflowing with rapturous delights. “I have found the promised land!” you may say most emphatically. But after you ravage all the low-hanging fruit, it starts becoming a little more inconvenient. ItContinue reading “A Relationship Is Like A Garden”

Do you have a tendency to date the same kind of person over and over again? If so, that means you’re just like everyone else! Good job. There are many profound reasons why people constantly pick similar partners – in fact, this is the basis for everything I do at FixYourPicker.com. Most of these reasonsContinue reading “Who’s In The Dating Pool?”

I launched FixYourPicker.com on March 27th and have woken up seven days a week at 4:30 or sooner to write, create, build, and connect. On Saturdays I wake up at 3:30 because I usually spend at least 8 hours writing, revising, and posting an article to various platforms. About a month ago, I decided IContinue reading “Authenticity > Strength”

New sex. It’s like unwrapping a delicious present made of raw human experience. The excitement, the euphoria, the surging tides of hormones, and anticipation — it’s one of the most thrilling adventures that nature has to offer. No matter your age, weight, income, or anything else, new sex makes everybody’s leg shake. Properly done, it’ll make aContinue reading “6 Reasons Why New Sex is Magical”

Becoming a healthy partner is the hard part I bounced from one relationship to the next my whole life. “Relationships are hard,” I used to say. But what’s so hard about them? Being vulnerable? Stating my wants and needs? Fear of not being good enough? None of these things are inherently relationship problems. They haveContinue reading “Relationships Are Not Hard”

Millions of homeless people eat out of trash cans every day. It’s not ideal, but it keeps them sucking air. Likewise, humans have learned to survive on junk relationships and emotional scraps. No, it’s not healthy, but it meets their basic needs, and that’s good enough. Met Needs Don’t Inspire Growth If I was actually starving,Continue reading “Dopamine Dumpster Diving”

Dysfunctional relationships are home to the wounded parts of ourselves. It is where they came from and where they always return. A seed needs soil, water, and sunlight to become a healthy plant. Without these necessities, it will not grow or flower. The same is true for people. A human self requires love, safety, andContinue reading “Home To Our Wounded Parts”

“I can’t do this anymore,” she said. “I’m leaving.” I didn’t think she was gonna say that. We had just celebrated five years together. I can vividly remember the magic of falling in love and moving into our first place after only a few weeks. It seems crazy looking back, but we had an instantContinue reading “Lessons From A Gnarly Breakup”