Author Archives: Adam

When I made that left turn on green, a car doing about fifty seemingly appeared out of nowhere. Time stood still, and I saw the look of sheer terror in the eyes and faces of each of the car’s occupants. It’s a look you never forget. Even as windows exploded, airbags deployed, and reality crumpledContinue reading “The Healing Power of Relationships”

The words humanity and humility both come from the Latin word humus, meaning ground, soil, or earth. We say that people with humility are “grounded” or “down to earth.” They know their strengths and their weaknesses. They are not arrogant, nor are they self-deprecating. These folks are right-sized because they have developed the fine artContinue reading “Why Is Humility So Important?”

In 2019, my wife and I quit our careers, sold a bunch of things, and moved to Panamá to recreate our lives. We’re both hard workers, which means we were pouring everything we had into supporting someone else’s dreams. We had to get off the work-work-work-die hamster wheel if we were ever going to setContinue reading “Fix Your Picker Turns One”

Allegedly, when Benjamin Franklin moved into a new house, the first thing he did was ask his neighbors a favor. Why did he do this? Well, I think old Benny baby understood how well vulnerability works at building trust, intimacy, and healthy human relations. In his autobiography, he wrote, “He that has once done youContinue reading “Vulnerability Works”

“A child that is being abused by its parents doesn’t stop loving its parents; it stops loving itself.” -Shahida Arabi As small children, we are powerless and completely dependent on our parents. They are our caretakers, the source of all connection and protection, and the only way to get our needs met. Naturally, we loveContinue reading “Why We Blame Ourselves”

I have come to realize that dating with an anxious attachment style is like trying to plug a hole in your soul by stuffing an entire other person into the throbbing existential gape in your chest. I’ve experienced this personally, ohhh, say one million times, give or take. And many of my clients exhibit theContinue reading “Anxious Attachment: Plugging The Hole”

Vulnerability can be terrifying. Especially if you grew up with criticism, control, judgment, sarcasm, shame, unrealistic expectations, abuse, abandonment, etc. The opening line to Leo Tolstoy’s 1877 novel Anna Karenina speaks to the heart of the matter: “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” There are innumerable waysContinue reading “Vulnerability Avoidance Tactics”

When I’m single, I’m pretty good at living my best life. I take good care of myself, do things I love, pursue my passions, connect with everyone around me. It’s fantastic. But the moment someone is super into me, a little voice in my head says, “Don’t just stand there, do something! We can’t messContinue reading “Being Yourself In Relationships”

The fine art of dating obviously terrible people. Have you ever taken a good look at some of your exes and pondered, What in the actual fuck was I thinking? After a breakup, the plethora of warnings you dismissed on the first date is usually about as subtle as the neon signs at Caesar’s Palace. The experienceContinue reading “Why We Ignore Red Flags”

Do you use sex to create instant love? The intrigue and the desire. Vulnerability and openness. Novelty, playfulness, adventure. To be seen, heard, respected, valued — even worshipped in a way. A tender embrace. Touch, taste, smell — all senses fully engaged. Dopamine, oxytocin, adrenaline… a sweet bouquet of neurochemical euphoria. A deep sense of presence and connection. CalmContinue reading “Instant Love, Just Add Sex”