In his book Nonviolent Communication, Marshall B. Rosenberg writes about the three stages people often pass through on their journey from emotional slavery to emotional liberation. As an NVC fanboy, Rosenberg groupie, and an unyielding proponent of his work, I’m gonna share this concept with you today (largely in my own words and with myContinue reading “The Three Stages of Emotional Liberation”
Tag Archives: Needs
Is It Important or Just Urgent?
I listened to Stephen Covey’s iconic The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People on audio about a decade ago, and I remember damn near nothing about it. However, one of the concepts from that book that hit me pretty hard was the difference between important and urgent. And because it has come up with severalContinue reading “Is It Important or Just Urgent?”
Waiting for Someone to Give You Something They Don’t Have
Cheryl Strayed once wrote, “So long as you stay in a relationship that isn’t meeting your needs, you’re in a relationship that isn’t meeting your needs.” Not exactly rocket science, but it’ll knock your ass in the dirt if you’re not paying attention. And that’s just it. A certain level of ignorance, delusion, dissociation, orContinue reading “Waiting for Someone to Give You Something They Don’t Have”
The Tragic Dilemma of Anxious Attachers
Anxious attachment is a pattern of human relating rooted in childhood abandonment. This abandonment — whether physical or emotional and no matter how subtle — interferes with the maturation process, causes numerous unhealthy dependencies, and invariably leads to self-abandonment. Today, I’d like to point out an often overlooked but particularly insidious relational dynamic common to anxious attachers. But first,Continue reading “The Tragic Dilemma of Anxious Attachers”
How To Know If Someone Can Change
Are you hoping for your partner to change? A friend, sibling, boss, or parent? Do they swear up and down that they are going to change, but you don’t really see the evidence? You see their potential and wanna give them the benefit of the doubt. You have reason to believe they can or willContinue reading “How To Know If Someone Can Change”
Apologizing for Having Needs – A Sign of Trauma and Shame
Do you apologize for getting emotional? For being hungry? Needing to use the bathroom? Are you out here telling people you’re sorry for having the regular-ass needs and experiences of any other living organism? When people say sorry too much, I always read between the lines, “I’m sorry for existing – clearly your life would beContinue reading “Apologizing for Having Needs – A Sign of Trauma and Shame”
2 Questions That Can Change Your Life
Many of humanity’s greatest personal challenges stem from unresolved trauma, which shows up as various forms of dissociation and self-abandonment. Some trauma occurs when we’re babies, too young to even remember explicitly. But our bodies remember that shit like it was yesterday! And it often results in lifelong, compulsive, self-defeating habits and behaviors. And becauseContinue reading “2 Questions That Can Change Your Life”