The Tragic Dilemma of Anxious Attachers

Anxious attachment is a pattern of human relating rooted in childhood abandonment. This abandonment — whether physical or emotional and no matter how subtle — interferes with the maturation process, causes numerous unhealthy dependencies, and invariably leads to self-abandonment. Today, I’d like to point out an often overlooked but particularly insidious relational dynamic common to anxious attachers. But first,Continue reading “The Tragic Dilemma of Anxious Attachers”

How To Know If Someone Can Change

Are you hoping for your partner to change? A friend, sibling, boss, or parent? Do they swear up and down that they are going to change, but you don’t really see the evidence? You see their potential and wanna give them the benefit of the doubt. You have reason to believe they can or willContinue reading “How To Know If Someone Can Change”

Apologizing for Having Needs – A Sign of Trauma and Shame

Do you apologize for getting emotional? For being hungry? Needing to use the bathroom? Are you out here telling people you’re sorry for having the regular-ass needs and experiences of any other living organism? When people say sorry too much, I always read between the lines, “I’m sorry for existing – clearly your life would beContinue reading “Apologizing for Having Needs – A Sign of Trauma and Shame”

2 Questions That Can Change Your Life

Many of humanity’s greatest personal challenges stem from unresolved trauma, which shows up as various forms of dissociation and self-abandonment. Some trauma occurs when we’re babies, too young to even remember explicitly. But our bodies remember that shit like it was yesterday! And it often results in lifelong, compulsive, self-defeating habits and behaviors. And becauseContinue reading “2 Questions That Can Change Your Life”