Asking for Love in Unlovable Ways

Everybody wants love. And even though such a claim sounds like another one of these silly ass “Love is all you need” or “Love heals all wounds” kinda things, it’s actually empirically true. Babies who don’t receive nurturing touch or attach to their mothers often die of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome), suffer from “failureContinue reading “Asking for Love in Unlovable Ways”

What Does Your Happiness Depend On?

If your happiness is contingent on other people “acting right,” there’s a strong chance you’ll be a salty barnacle forever and die in a lonely pool of self-righteous resentment. Helluva way to start an article, I know. But hear me out. The belief that you “would” be happy if only other people were different isContinue reading “What Does Your Happiness Depend On?”

The Easy Alternative to Healing

What’s faster, easier, less work, more convenient, and way cheaper than healing? I’ll give you some hints. It’s available 24/7 in abundant supply, and you won’t have to go very far to get it. Most people have some and are more than happy to share it with you. In fact, once you get it installed,Continue reading “The Easy Alternative to Healing”

Why Boundaries Are So Loving

Many people grew up with poor or missing boundaries in their family. Or they learned that they needed to disregard personal boundaries in order to get love and attention. Then, when they discover much later that their lack of boundaries is problematic, it often seems terribly difficult to rectify. I’d like to explain briefly whyContinue reading “Why Boundaries Are So Loving”

Fear of Intimacy or Abandonment?

People with an anxious attachment style have a conscious fear of abandonment and a subconscious fear of intimacy. People with an avoidant attachment style have a conscious fear of intimacy and a subconscious fear of abandonment. I know, crazy, right? Anxious folks felt abandoned as children, either physically or emotionally, so their fear of abandonmentContinue reading “Fear of Intimacy or Abandonment?”