Spiritual teacher A.H. Almas once said, “Only when compassion is present will people allow themselves to see the truth.” In my experience, resentment, disdain, contempt, and the like typically require some measure of dishonesty or delusion. And truth be told, any time I’ve been resentful, it’s usually because someone did something that I myself haveContinue reading “Truth, Compassion, and Love”
Category Archives: Uncategorized
The Importance of Community on the Healing Journey
If all of human existence were contained within one day, we as a species have lived communally for 23 hours and 59 minutes. We are currently living with unprecedented levels of isolation, independence, self-reliance, and individualism. Humanity ain’t built for that and it shows. Without getting all Yuval Harari about it (author of Sapiens: AContinue reading “The Importance of Community on the Healing Journey”
Fear of Being Seen
Children who were frequently teased, judged, criticized, micromanaged, mistreated, compared, guilted, shamed, bullied, or abused often grow into adults who are terrified of being seen by others. Understandably so. But this translates into a fear of vulnerability, intimacy, and authenticity. A fear of self-expression and even of self-examination. The sense of self atrophies for thoseContinue reading “Fear of Being Seen”
The Shitty Childhood Paradox
Imagine you had perfectly loving, supportive, and emotionally mature parents. All of your material wants and needs were taken care of as a child. Friendship, community, great teachers, joy, healthy habits — your childhood was practically ideal. Except… your drunk uncle raped you at family events for a decade and you were too terrified and ashamed toContinue reading “The Shitty Childhood Paradox”
When Others Feel Hurt
If someone asks me to do them a favor and I say no (either because I have a doctor’s appointment that day or simply because I don’t feel like it), they might feel hurt about it. That’s fine. One person might feel hurt, while another person may not take the slightest offense. This tells meContinue reading “When Others Feel Hurt”
Saving Myself
In a dream, children gleefully rip around an open field with the unbridled excitement of having newly discovered the infinite potential of being alive. A little girl emerges from the chaos, walks stoically toward me, and meets my eyes with a palpable ego presence that random dream characters do not possess. I’m acutely aware thatContinue reading “Saving Myself”
Apologizing for Having Needs – A Sign of Trauma and Shame
Do you apologize for getting emotional? For being hungry? Needing to use the bathroom? Are you out here telling people you’re sorry for having the regular-ass needs and experiences of any other living organism? When people say sorry too much, I always read between the lines, “I’m sorry for existing – clearly your life would beContinue reading “Apologizing for Having Needs – A Sign of Trauma and Shame”
What If I’m Incapable of Love?
I’ve experienced moments of being undeniably and wholly consumed with love – in family, friendship, romance, nature, creativity, and spiritual pursuits. We’re talkin moved to tears love. Feel it in my bones love. Capital L love. However, I’ve also felt periodic moments of alienation and nihilistic, existential self-doubt wherein I question my very capacity for love.Continue reading “What If I’m Incapable of Love?”
You Are Good Enough
Brazilian MMA fighter Alexandre Pantoja recently won the UFC flyweight world championship belt. In his post-fight interview with tears in his eyes, he said, “My mom take care of me and my two brothers alone… Now, Dad, you proud of me, Dad. You proud of me.” It was profound. But also, it’s not uncommon toContinue reading “You Are Good Enough”
Settle for More
People settle for less in romantic relationships for many different reasons. Fear, insecurity, low self-esteem, immaturity, scarcity mindset, ignorance, trauma, shame, codependence, etc. They find themselves in unsatisfying relationships time and time again with people who can’t show up, hear them, respect their boundaries, or meet their needs. But instead of settling for less… whatContinue reading “Settle for More”